Everything is from my father...

My dearest, my love, my dream, my dear casanova, hero of my childhood.My unforgettable. My most beloved man. The only thing he wished was to be happy and joyous. He made choices but he just wanted to be happy. As most of the men he behaved like a human, like a man,  he made mistakes. He searched, found, or couldn't find, worked, earned, gave, shared, loved but he was never not loved...
He received everyone with his open arms. He was a Father all the time, a brother, a husband,an uncle,a lawyer, a sofy cheecked of mine...
He couldn't keep on kiving his life in happiness with us, with me. Such a shame...I loved him so much. I never judged, or couldn't understand the ones who did. Even if they are a few. Because he was always loved and stayed with his good heart with his success and laughters, sins... He was always accepted as he was. I accepted him so. And he said:"I have a son and a daughter both."
When my father was giving his last breath, I saw him while he was holding my hands under the iron bars of the hospital bed in father's day. While he was lying there all alone with the purple bruses under his eyes and crying, he stared at me as if he was waiting just for me. I never cried while I was with him, or even in his funeral or when he was put in his grave while I throw a white rose to him in his grave... Only when I was praying in Eyup Sultan after this hospital visit on father's day. He was released then, from the one s who caused his unhappiness and the ones who did''t let him to be happy in life.
He is happier now I am sure. Because the good ones always be happy in the end.
Me?? One day when I see him again, I will reach the real happiness and keep on holding tight to his precious heart as just like now...

Her sey babamdan...

Babam, Altuğ Ergin.
Benim canım, sevdiğim, hayalim, çocukluğumun o çapkın kahramanı...Unutulmazım... En sevdiğim erkek... Tek istediği hep mutlu, keyifli olmaktı. Seçimler yaptı ama O sadece hep mutlu olmak istedi. Her erkek gibi insanca davrandı, hatalar yaptı.Aradı, buldu, bulamadı,çalıştı, kazandı, verdi, paylaştı, sevdi, ama sevmediği olmadı hiç...
Herkese kucak açtı benim babam. Baba oldu hep. Abi, kardeş, koca, dayı, amca, sevgili, avukat, yumuşak yanak...
Süremedi, sürdüremedi mutlulukla hayatını bizimle, benimle, ne yazık. Ben çok sevdim O'nu...Yargılamadım, yargılayanları anlayamadım...Nadir olsalar da...Çünkü O çok sevildi hep, hep o iyi kalbiyle kaldı...Başarısıyla, kahkahalarıyla, günahlarıyla kabul oldu hep O.
Ben öyle kabul ettim onu,O ise "benim oglum da var kızım da" dedi...
Son nefesini verirken benim babam, ben gördüm O'nu en son,tutmuşken hastanedeki o demir yatağın parmaklarından ellerimi Babalar Gününde.
Tek başına orada yatarken, inlerken gözlerinin altındaki morluklarla, bana bakarken...Ağlamadım yanında, sadece çok sevdiğimi söyledim.
Dualarımı okurken kaybettim ben O'nu Eyüp Sultan'da ağlarken.Ağlamadım hiç cenazesinde, mezarına konarken ben. Kurtulmuştu O'nu mutsuz edenlerden, mutlulukla yaşamak varken, yaşatmayanlardan...
Mutlu O şimdi daha çok, eminim. İyiler hep mutlu olur sonunda. Ben ise, bir gün O'nu tekrar gördüğümde gerçek mutluluğa erişip, onun kalbine sımsıkı tutunmaya devam edeceğim. Tıpkı şimdiki gibi...